Chicago

The first thing you gotta understand about Chicago is that it is an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. 

It's one of those man made islands, like that plastic reef. The locals only travel by water bike via the complex canal system. 

They are so inundated with water that they have whole museums dedicated to the memory of fields!

 

Here's a diorama of a butterfly! He has credit card debt problem, but it doesn't keep him down!

These little fellahs told me that they were working for the weekend! I laughed and said, "I feel that," and then briskly walked along. 

There's so much water in Chicago that you can't see the buildings. 

There's so much water in Chicago that it shoots up straight outta the ground. 

They are just constantly trying to get the water out of Chicago and back into the Pacific Ocean where it belongs. 

There are four of these horrible statues, each one worse than the next. It's meant to symbolize Chicago's triumph over the sea, but unfortunately it is being sprayed by an all too common ocean leak. 

There is a zombie dinosaur problem, but they're pretty easy to take down. You just jump on their back, and chop off their long necks. The locals will yell at you, but just ignore them, your safety comes first!

 

I pulled Algiz from the rune bag. It is the rune of protections, which is probably why I was brave enough to kill that zombie dinosaur. Also it helped me on my main Chicago quest: 

PETTING A CAT

Cats are rare in Chicago, probably because of all the water. Cats hate water. This is Chicago's one goose. He's pretty cool, but some of his jokes are dated. I didn't pet him. 

I pet this thing for a good 20 minutes. Then a guy walked by and said, "Hey you really like our big silver bean things, huh?" It was in that moment I realized this was not a cat, so I left. 

I found this cat on the same block as my hostel. Unfortunately, there was some kind of force field stopping me from petting him. I have to guess that he also pulled Algiz this morning!

I asked this guy, "where the cats?" After what felt like an eternity full of one physical joke done over and over, he told me where to find the cats. 

Just inside this ratchet AF building, there would be a treasure trove of kittys. 

Now, while that ratchet AF building is full of kitties, they don't all want you to pet them. This one said I smelled like sweat and goose shit, and wanted nothing to do with me. 

These two, while very small, had some problematic opinions about the 2016 election, so I decided to look elsewhere for petting. 

This elder statesman, though frightfully polite, was far too busy to be pet, so I didn't ask. I just gave him a wave and a smile as he rushed off to a conference call. 

This cat yearns for freedom, so I didn't pet him. Too relatable, and I didn't want to get attached. 

Just when I thought all hope was lost, this little biscuit came and flopped right down next to me. 

And I PET THAT CAT! 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED 

This cat didn't give a single fuck that I had achieved my goal. Takes all kinds I suppose. 

Well that's it for the exciting things. Now here are food pictures. 

TRUE FOOD KITCHEN

I like this chain. I've eaten at the KOP one before and it's fine. This one was better. That was some kind of prickly pear refresher, and I would order it again! 

Edamame pesto dumplings. These were fine. The dashi was really good, but the dumplings didn't carry that flavor, so the dumplings were kind of a waste. Would not order again. 

Best vegan burger I've ever had. Mushrooms and walnuts and other stuff. It was crunchy and delicious! I also typically don't like "vegan cheese," but whatever they melted on this burger worked for me. It didn't have that terrible fake cheese texture you usually get. 

Avocado key lime pie with coconut whipped cream. I would like to make this, it was very good. The crust had too much cinnamon, which was good by itself, but not great when mixed with everything else. Would order again, but more likely will learn to make and work into my repertoire. 

SUNDA CHICAGO

Similar problem to the edamame dumplings from True Food. These were in a spicy sauce that was really good, but just seemed wasted on edamame. 

Wagyu Lobster Roll. The lobster was fine, but a complete waste of Wagyu. If it hadn't been on top, the dish would have been just as good, I guarantee you. 

I also got a garden roll, but forgot to take a pic. 

This restaurant may have sucked, or I may have ordered wrong. Over priced, and nothing other than the lobster had all that much flavor, and the flavor in the lobster roll was tasty, but not all that lobstery. Also there was a shell in my roll, so I'm kinda like: fuck this place.

RUN INFO

Three miles, broken up by a quick visit to the field museum to find out the line at the field museum was too long for me to wait in it! 

If anyone reading this wants to do a five mile race through McKaig this October, hit me up. I'm probably gonna sign up soon.

Anyway that's all for the Big Soggy (as the locals call Chicago). I give it four stars out of ten. I love everything about it, would move here in an instant, have no complaints except that it's not Philly so it loses six stars. 

Or is it Philly? 

Oh yeah, I've spent a lot of money on the Khyber Pass's Bacon Grease Popcorn. This is Philly. 

10 Stars for Chicago. 

Up next is Missouri! Can I set up a tent before bedtime, or will I sleep in the car/last minute motel!?! We shall see! 

(POST SCRIPT: I think all the kittens in these pictures are adoptable! https://www.thecatcade.org/)